Relationships are the crux of the matter~ The Essence of Tantric Sexuality1
In 2009 I found myself writing about relationships. What was found in the archives is worth sharing today:
It is in the world we live that we come to test ourselves as the beings we really are, but we forget about. It is in the daily life with ourselves, with the persons around, with the people we love, that we apply what we profess, but sometimes these words appear as voices in the back of my thinking mind… “Are we meant to be alone on this path?” ~~~ I choose to remain silent. In silence I find the way to reconnect, to love unconditionally, to not be overthrown by the inner despairs. I go for loneliness, just for a while, to become aloneness again…
Then Osho finds me in the exact moment with the exact words: “This is the basic principal to be understood, that love without freedom never brings fulfillment. And there have been people who have tried the other extreme, freedom without love. These are those who renounce the world, afraid of love. Afraid of love because it brings bondage, they renounce all the situations where love can flow, grow, can happen, is possible. They escape into loneliness. Their loneliness never becomes aloneness, it remains loneliness. And loneliness is a negative state; it is utterly empty, it is sad. One can be a solitary, but that does not bring solitude. Solitariness is just physical aloneness, solitude is spiritual aloneness. If you are just lonely. . . and you will be if you have renounced the world.
Hence humanity stands on a crossroads: Now where to go? What to do?
Atisha has an important message to deliver to you. And that message is: love and freedom are not separate things, you cannot choose. Either you will have to have both, or you will have to have dropped both. But you cannot choose, you cannot have one. Love is the circumference, freedom is the center. One has to grow in such delicate balance where love and freedom can bloom together. And they can, because in a few rare individuals it has happened. And if it has happened to only a single individual in the whole history, it can happen to every human being. It is your potential, it is your birthright.”2
Today I meditate on the meaning of Sawabona/Shikona. The art of relationships in the New Age. Human beings have been conditioned to believe that another human being is the key to happiness. That by marrying someone, buying a house, and living a life of two is the true road to attain fulfillment in ones life. That is a Piscean way of thinking and feeling, which roots were profoundly stablished by Romanticism: “my other half…”
Sawabona/Shikona is a greeting that comes from Africa through which people recognize themselves as whole. The Aquarian way is for human beings to fulfill their paths – with their true destiny – as individuals. To become whole within themselves and from that wholeness, to share a life of meaning with other human beings. What Atisha says about love and freedom happening to one single being as a promise to all human beings, in my experience, is already happening to human kind. Aquarian times.
Sometimes I feel strange, like a strange woman in a strange land…
It is dawn. The morning breeze is sweet and fresh. The waves of the ocean look like silk from my balcony. My cat is by my side. My partner sleeps peacefully in the next room. The clouds reflect an intense pink/orange from the rising sun behind them. And I honor my solitude. And give thanks for the opportunity of a life as a whole. And from that awareness, I greet you, Sawabona…
1 Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson, The Essence of Tantric Sexuality, pp. 52.
2 Osho, Book of Wisdom, Vol. II pp. 260-263