Where is my power?

On my way home last night I heard that one of my friends got their power back. She was so happy and relieved. Her home is about one half of a mile from mine, maybe less, so it made me wonder if my home had power. It’s been almost two months without electricity, landline and internet, and life is definitely more complicated trying to compensate.

Yet, I found myself hoping that it was not back yet. For some reason that I did not fully understand in that moment, I felt like I was not ready for it to return. I did have a vague idea that I had not yet learned the lesson of this blackout, or maybe I wasn’t ready for the adventure to be over. To go back to “ordinary life”. Upon further reflection, another part of it is that I feel a longing to fully unplug that has not been realized yet. Like there is a rare opportunity here to do a full on, NO TECHNOLOGY, energetic reboot.

Unless you go into deep wilderness, or the open sea, we are constantly bombarded with all kinds of energetic pollution. From electromagnetic frequencies to microwaves. Radio & TV waves, wifi, cell phones, voice and data, etc, etc. Most of these pass right through your body – and your brain – every second of every day of your life, unless you escape them somehow.

For the first week or so, Puerto Rico went almost completely offline, and it was a true blessing. Still, more than a month later, many places on the island are entirely offline. Even here in San Juan, no electricity cuts out a lot of the pollution. Although other things have crept in.

For me and most of the people I know, we were never completely off line. Everyone has a smartphone and while the signals are weaker and the data slower, there was always a trickle of communication and being connected. By now, the signal at home is still pretty dismal. I have to go outside to talk or check email. There is usually enough of a signal to get data at night, but rarely during the day. But ATT has a strong signal in Condado, starting ½ a mile away, that provides plentiful data, fast enough to stream video.

It’s been a blessing to be able to communicate and get online at all. It’s kept me connected and even able to find a little work during these hard times. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for this. But there is a consequence. That is, during this period of blackout, where the entire country is unplugged, myself and many others in urban areas find ourselves more dependent upon our iphones and Galaxies than ever before. What was already an uncomfortable dependence has blossomed into full blown addiction.

I’m not necessarily saying that this is a bad thing. For me and most others it’s very needed. If I want to work, support my family, stay in touch w my kids and know anything about what’s happening on the island or the world, my phone is the way to do all of that. I even started writing a book recently, and while it is much more comfortable writing on my laptop, the power situation makes it more practical to write on my phone when inspiration strikes. Then there’s FB. I actually feel very good about this online community. These are people I know and love. I’m also careful to not get too caught up in drama or spending hours browsing. But I do spend some time there. When I add it all up, it’s a lot more than I’d prefer.

Getting back to my point, I do love to unplug sometimes. A weekend camping or a trip to a remote area. It feels really wonderful to turn off and leave behind the devices. Escape the energy pollution and connect to the frequency of the the earth and nature. It is cleansing and renewing.

So I feel like while the entire island has been unplugged, I have ultraplugged, and I’m feeling a need for a break. I want to take advantage of this time to come into a greater harmony with the natural frequencies of the island, the earth, myself and ultimately Creator.

So if the powers that be could just hold off another week or so while I take a few days to do that, I would really appreciate it.

A Firsthand Experience of Maria

Within hours after Maria struck, the winds subsided and people began to open their fortified doors and take a peak at the wreckage. Tentative steps at first. Is that it? Is it really over so quickly? Is it safe to go out? Time to survey the damage.

Our house itself had little damage, but there was a heavy tin roof over the patio in our back yard. Half of that had come off in a screeching and shrieking fit that seemed to last for hours as the metal twisted and tore off the roof, then banged around the back yard until the wind settled down. I think that made it sound particularly intense and destructive from inside our bunker.

We also lost a beautiful, old Flamboyan tree in our patio. She was already old, bent and twisted with time, but a really special plant that provided shade and the perfect environment for dozens of other plants below her canopy to flourish . And her flowers were exquisite! Imagine hundreds of tiny orange orchids, the size of  a quarter. I felt really sad about losing this one.

But that was the extent of our damage. Nothing else broken, no flooding, no damage to our car. It’s like we were protected, because as we looked around our street, the destruction was pretty bad. Most of the houses were fine, although the place directly across the street lost their metal roof. One part of it is permanently lodged in a big tree, 40 feet up in the air and about 100 feet down the street. Most of the damage in our neighborhood was Trees and power lines down, and miscellaneous debris everywhere.

In our home we had stayed up late the night before, taking care of last minute preparations and feeling the coming storm. The wind had been building that day since late afternoon, steadily increasing, with sudden gusts and fits sometimes. I went for one last swim, just after sunset, before it was too dark. It was around 7pm and winds were a bit stronger than usual, but not too intense, maybe a steady 20 knots, gusting to 30. The sea was confused. Waves not too large but churning and wind whipped as I swam strongly against the wind to the swimming buoy. I didn’t want to think about being here in 12 hrs, when Maria get’s closest. That swim was important to me. I had been working all day to prepare our home, and was hot & sweaty. It always feels good to take a dip to cool off, but this was more than just that. This was a chance to dive into the sea already touched by Maria, to feel the essence of the coming storm. I taken this swim hundreds of times, in all sorts of conditions. It’s a safe beach, all sand, yet that night I felt a bit nervous. A little bit afraid about what I felt was coming.

I’ve been living here in Puerto Rico for just over 2 yrs, full time, but have been coming to work for 7 yrs before that. I’m blessed with a beautiful family and a home less than a block from the beach. Which in normal circumstances is awesome, but you need to think twice about staying with a hurricane on it’s way.

We actually had a warm-up two weeks earlier. A “Hurricane Drill” you could call it. Irma also turned into a Cat 5 storm, but that one missed us. It veered about 50 miles north of us, into the open sea, at the last minute. It got a little windy here for a few hours, but the damage was minimal. A few downed trees and power lines, but power was out for most most of the island for 10 days. Some areas never got power back before Maria. That tells you how fragile the infrastructure is here. For Irma, we prepared the house and stocked up on supplies, and at the last minute, decided to evacuate out beach house for a friends house a mile inland, up on a hill. Turns out there was more damage and danger up there than in our neighborhood. But that was not really a hurricane, at least not for this island. We went 10 days without power, and the night that it returned, our celebrations were cut short by the news of Maria. For most people this was upsetting news, but I was secretly hoping that I would get to experience my first hurricane.

We prepared again, boarded up the front door, covered all the windows in plastic, stocked up on food & water and everything else we thought we’d need. This time though, I wanted to stay put in our home. I spoke with a lot of our neighbors who have been there for 20+ years and been through other big storms. None of them were concerned. “This street never floods” is what I kept hearing. Most of them were staying, including our friends Bebo & Guichi who live right on the beach. They had storm shutters, cold beer  and a complete lack of fear that extended to their 13 yr old son. If anyone would get hit, it would be them. Several of our neighbors did leave for higher ground, but most did not. My final decision came the day before, when I looked up the flood maps on the FEMA website. It showed flood waters coming very close, but never reaching our street or home. So the evening before Maria hit, we made the final decision to stay. I’m so glad we did.

Those who know me know that I am not that “normal”, by most standards. Those who really know me don’t mince words. Crazy is perhaps the most common description. I love nature and I LOVE storms. I swim alone in the ocean at night. I hike naked & barefoot in the rainforest occasionally, at night without a light. I speak to not just plants & animals, but also to stones, fire and water.

I feel like I missed my calling as a storm chaser, so when Irma was coming, I got very excited, and then quite disappointed when it missed us. I’ve been studying hurricanes and meditating on the essential nature and divine purpose of these monstrous storms. Since Childhood I’ve been very excited about storms, and I think it must have been Hollywood that instilled an image in my mind of being tied to palm tree as the eye of the hurricane passed over me. I thought that was the coolest thing ever, and maybe a part of me still does. Fortunately, that part of me is not stronger than the part that wants to stay alive to tell about it.

The only downside to Maria (in my mind) is that the eye would not be passing directly over me. But it should be close enough. And it is a category 5 hurricane, so it should be good.

By the night before, it became apparent that it would not veer north at the last minute, like Irma. Good. Game on! After my pre-Maria swim, I came home, rinsed the sand & saltwater off with the hose in the driveway, and prepared a simple dinner of Quinoa, beans & cabbage. We kept the front door open all evening, feeling the storm building. Power went out at 1:30am and we turned in shortly after that. Sleep was light and unsettled as  the  strong wind rattled the windows all night long. I awoke at about 5:30am to the entire house shaking and the wind howling. My wife also awoke at the same time and suddenly had misgivings about staying. Visions of the whole building collapsing on top of us fueled a full blown panic attack. But the building was strong and sturdy. After some deep breaths and reassurances, she was fine again. I peeked out of our front door. There was a small crack of vision between the plywood panel and the edge of the window. No flooding, so that’s good. No patio roof, that’s not so good.

The day before, we were told that the worst of the storm would hit us by late morning, about 11am.  So I thought that it would continue to build for another 5 hours or so. Because of that, I wasn’t paying too much attention to the storm at that point. I was making sure my wife & daughter were ok, then checking on my phone. I was surprised to see that we still had a pretty strong signal and even internet during this intense phase of the storm. So I used this opportunity to check on the storm path and also to send messages to my family off island. Of course, so many people were concerned for our safety and I told them all I don’t know how soon we’ll get communications back, so just be patient. I didn’t know that we could communicate right through the storm.

At some point while I was on my stupid phone, I realized that the wind was dying down. So I checked the weather (on my phone) and saw that it looks like that was the worst part of the storm for us and it was passing. Instead of being filled with joy and relief, I felt disappointment and regret. Yes, the storm had hit us pretty hard, but I was not present to the essential energy of it because I was on my freaking phone. A metaphor for life! I thought I had many more hours to be present to it, but it came and went fast than I thought. So let this be a lesson to all of us: PUT DOWN YOUR BLASTED PHONE AND BE PRESENT TO YOUR LIFE!!!

Today is the one month anniversary of Maria, and here is the metro area things are just starting to normalize a little bit. Many places are not. I originally had thought of writing this blog about life after the storm, but realized I should start at the beginning. So I will continue later with the rest of the story.

Blessings, love and prayers to all of those still suffering.

Volcano – part II

Continued from the previous post, in which I relayed how I had discovered what appeared to be an ancient volcano while at Summer Solstice Sadhana  at Ram Das Puri in New Mexico.



Ram Das Puri

Saturday afternoon, the shuttle brought us back to the airport hotel in Albuquerque, where we were preparing to catch out flights home the next day. It had been an amazing trip! We were happy, content and filled with love. But the mystery of the volcano was calling to me.


That night, once again, I felt the calling, reaching out to me through my fatigue. I had to know what was going on. So instead of coming to bed, I was searching the web well past midnight. What I discovered blew my mind. Not only was the volcano real, but it was a well known and rare phenomenon. 


Valles Caldera  is a relatively young Super Volcano that is still considered to be active! It’s crater is almost 14 miles across. The more I learned, the more I was drawn to it.


What an amazing and powerful source of Adi Shakti energy! And right there, next to where we were living in the desert, and practicing our Kundalini Yoga.


The calling was stronger than ever. The next morning, I told Marién of my discovery. She also felt the calling. We decided to changed our plans and delay our departure for one day to explore. So we rescheduled our flights,  rented a car and began our search for the volcano.



On La Jara Dome, inside the crater of Valles Caldera

We made it into the caldera an hour before it closed. Just enough time to learn a little more about it from the ranger and practice our Adi Shakti meditation on La Jara Dome. It was absolutely perfect, and I was thrilled to have made it into the crater (caldera). I felt I had attained my goal. But the journey wasn’t over yet.

There are several known hot springs in the area, so I asked the ranger where to go. He told me there is one that’s the best of all, and gave me directions. It sounded simple enough. Like we could get to it that evening and still get back to a hotel in time for dinner and a good night sleep.


The rim of Valles Caldera. 6/29/14.

Instead we found ourselves following a dirt road into deep wilderness, right to the edge of the crater. Looking down sheer cliffs, we could see the hot springs down below, 900 feet, inside the volcano, but night fell before we could find the path down. So instead of the soft bed of Elk Mountain Lodge, we pitched our tent right on rim of the volcano,  just 10 feet from the edge of the cliff.


With the new day came a choice to be made: Hot Spring in the Super Volcano or catch our flight home. It was either one or the other.  We both had obligations and commitments, but the draw of Adi Shakti was too strong to resist, so the journey continued. It took us over an hour to find the way down into the volcano, then another hour to the springs. It was a steep and rocky path, but finally we made it.


The springs were divine, and for a moment we surrendered completely in the warmth of the waters of Pacha Momma, heated by the fire in her womb.



San Antonio Hot Springs, Valles Caldera. 6/30/14

It was an initiation.

Not just that exultant moment in the springs, but every step of the journey.

The night spent on the rim, the unsuccessful searching for the path down, the stress of renting a car, the 9 days of Kundalini Yoga and the months of uncertainty leading up to it.

The preparations, struggle and doubt. All of it leading to that moment of bliss. The attainment of a goal we didn’t even know of until 12 hours earlier.

Reaching the hot springs symbolized something much greater than simply a peaceful, relaxing soak in a tub.


I believe that this was the attainment of the next level of our lives. A higher frequency and a higher purpose. Serving the Mother. Helping and healing the Earth and her peoples.


We are here to help and to serve. The time is now. There is much work to be done and it is a great honor to be alive at this time.

Sat Nam!

Volcanic Vision Quest


Summer Solstice Super Volcano

It’s been a while since a blog has been posted here, but recently I had an experience so amazing, it just had to be shared.

My fiance, Marién and I recently attended our second Summer Solstice Sadhana at Ram Das Puri in New Mexico.


Summer Solstice Sadhana 2014

This is worthy of it’s own post – or even a series – but suffice it to say, it was an experience of a lifetime. For 10 days we camped in the desert with over 1000 other Yogis.

Waking before dawn to pray, meditate and practice Kundalini Yoga for hours, it was a transcendental experience. One that greatly accelerates healing and progress on the spiritual path. It was not always easy. It took some hard work, focus and dedication, but it was so worthwhile. More than I can say. Plus, it was a lot of fun! We loved our time there, and have committed to returning every year.


Ram Das Puri

From the camp, you can see a nearby mountain that is larger than the rest. It had been calling to me and I had been thinking of climbing it. However the schedule was pretty rigorous, and we were kept busy every day.

Then one day, near the end of the trip, Marién suggested we skip the days activities and head for the hills. “We’ve been here for over a week and I haven’t had a moment to connect with the desert”. So we decided that was the day to connect. To go on a Vision Quest up the mountain.

The story of that Quest is for another day, but what I can tell you now is that it opened a door into another dimension. To prepare for the quest, I checked the satellite image of our mountain to find the best route. What I discovered changed everything.

After I examined our destination, I zoomed out, in an effort to understand what was going on in this part of the world. I’m no Geologist, but I do have an intimate connection to the Earth, and what I saw looked extraordinary to me. It looked to me that we were right next to an enormous volcano.

Volcano map1

For the next few days that we were there, I studied the map and the land, trying to figure out what was going on. There was really no internet access there, so I couldn’t research it on-line. I had to do it the old-fashioned way. The hike up the mountain revealed a lot of volcanic stone, pumice & scoria (cooled lava). But no one there knew anything about a volcano. Even the old-timers I spoke with, who had been coming there for over 30 years had never heard of it.

It reached a point where my wise partner advised me to stop speaking of it until I confirmed that it actually existed.

And so our time in the desert came to an end. Saturday afternoon we caught the shuttle back to our airport hotel in Albuquerque. Our flights home were the next day. The mystery of the volcano would have to wait for another time to be solved. Maybe next year.

But then fate intervened and everything changed. It seems that maybe our trip was not destined to end just yet.

To be continued …

Acupuncture for the Earth

Yes, I know that Earth Day was yesterday.

It was then that I was inspired to create a video showing one of my most powerful meditations.

Already up before dawn to take my daughter to school,  I shot this video beside the serene Cedar Creek. By the time the editing was complete, it was too late to send out on Earth Day. I think it is still relevant, however, since our love and compassion for our planet can exist more than just one day out of the year.


People often think that meditation will only benefit YOU, the meditator.

It turns out that there are many meditations that can help others as well.

This meditation is a very powerful one that can also help to heal & balance the earth. Your mother will thank you!

Check it out:

Med vid

1 day after: Hello to a New Era

On the surface, everything appears to be the same as it was yesterday.

So what did happen?


Click on pic to see vintage vid 

For one thing, the Earths’ axis changed directions, as the north pole began its journey back towards the sun. As of today, the days in the northern hemisphere are now getting longer and the nights shorter.

But you can’t really see that, or feel it, can you?

Perhaps there are other things that happened (are happening) with the planet and with ourselves that we also cannot see or feel yet.

Shifts in direction and in energy can be subtle and not easily detected, but that does not mean that they did not occur.

Many things have been said about what is supposed to occur at this time: Transitioning from 3rd to 5th dimension; Energetic and Spiritual Awakening of the Earth & Humanity; Major Earth changes, as the “Purification” kicks into a higher gear; Just to name a few.

When you study what each of these things mean, you will see a common thread, how they are all inter-connected. The awakening and activation of energy (Chakras) raises the vibration of energy and brings us to a higher dimension of consciousness and existence. This in turn, helps to purify all parts of our being, by eliminating that which resonates at a lower vibrational frequency.

It is said that one of the defining characteristics of higher frequencies and dimensions is the ability to create and manifest.

100 Layers from God is a spiritual game, whereby we are looking at this date and this shift in the best possible light: Best Case Scenario.

“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.” ~ William Arthur Ward

As of yesterday, this is more true than it ever was.

Now the game is to test this theory.

What will you imagine, dream, create and manifest?


1 day to go: Farewell to an Era

Enjoy it now people, because today is the last day of a cycle that you have lived in your entire life.

The last day of the Mayan Calendar, the Kali Yuga, the Age of Pisces, and many other cycles ranging from 2,000 to 36,000 years.

Tomorrow is the birth of a new era that we can only begin to imagine.

This is not a “New Age” trend that was invented by hippies – or any other people. This is the fulfillment of ancient prophecies, given to us by Creator, through each and every religion and spiritual teaching on earth. This is the point where they all come together and merge into unity. According to the spiritual masters and prophets of old, this is the greatest time to be alive on Planet Earth!

To be present during the most significant shift in Human evolution is a great privilege and honor that most people are completely oblivious of.

The exact moment of the Solstice (which is the end of the Mayan Calendar & other cycles) is Friday morning at 7:12am Puerto Rico time (6:12am Eastern Time).

I was going to invite you to set an intention for the transition. But then I realized that any intention will be based on the past.

So I am inviting you to dream…

Dream of what could be possible if the world – and each of us – were to change and grow in radically positive ways. What would it look like? What would it feel like? Open yourself to new possibilities.

Can you imagine being vibrantly healthy, with no pain, illness of weakness?

Abundant energy and vitality?

Great joy and love in your heart?

Great trust and faith in your Maker, and this whole crazy process?

What else can you imagine?

I’d love to hear from you. Please post a comment below, if you can.


We are heading up to the Sacred Mountain at the City of Light today. Tonight is the Silent Vigil, where we will stay up all night in prayer and meditation to prepare ourselves and prepare the world for this great passage. We are in the final hours, in the birth canal, about to emerge into a new world.

You are welcome to join us. In person or Spirit.

We’ll See you on the other side.

God Bless You!




12/12/12 : 9 days to go

This is probably the last repetitive date that most of us will experience              in our life on earth.

In the last decade, we have become accustom to this special occurrence and by now may take it for granted. The next time we will see such a date (in the Gregorian calendar) will be January 1, 2101. In just over 88 years.

So what is the big deal?

True, it is just numbers and some will argue that they are all arbitrary. But we say that everything in this world is a reflection of a greater reality that exists beyond what we can see with our eyes and feel with our senses. This is the world of Spirit that exists all around us and within us. It is where we come from and where we go when we depart (die). According to the prophets, saints and ascended masters, the world of Spirit is more real than the material world we call home. They also say that the Spirit realm is more beautiful than we can imagine, filled with divine perfection and complete justice.

Most, if not all, religions and Spiritual teachings have a creation story to explain the past and prophecies to foretell the future. As a young man, I spent some time studying the teachings and prophecies of many traditions. I was struck by how similar the future world view is.

Virtually every teaching speaks of a time in our future when the physical world – our planet Earth – will be a perfect reflection of the divine beauty found in the Spirit world. Christianity, Judaism and Islam all know this time as The Kingdom of God. Jesus even spoke of it in The Lord’s Prayer: “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven”.

Buddhism and Hinduism recognize this divine time as the Satya Yuga (Era of Truth) or Golden Age.  The Hopi and Baha’i Teachings call it The Most Great Peace.

Also found in the prophecies are how we will recognize the time when it is about to come AND how to prepare for it. You see, in addition to foretelling this great time of peace and spiritual harmony, all of the great traditions also speak of a time of transition from the old age to the new. Some conjure images of fear and destruction (the Apocalypse) while others like the Hopi are more hopeful, calling it the “Purification”.

If you can accept the premise of the Gaia Theory, that the Earth is a self regulating organism, which roughly mirrors the human body, then you can understand how when we accumulate too many toxins and reach a state of imbalance, the body will eventually purge the toxins to regain a state of balance. Often it is a relatively violent or painful process, like vomiting or fever.

Without going into all of the beautiful details, I can tell you that each of the worlds religions and spiritual teachings foretell of such a time of purification and then physical and spiritual renewal. If you look at only one such tradition, such as the bible or the Mayan teachings, you get a limited view that is easily discounted. But when you see all of the various teachings, side by side, a great pattern develops where you can see the interconnectedness of all peoples throughout all time.

In 100 Layers from God, we are living our lives as if this is all “True”.

So now I ask you: What if it is true?

What if it really is the end of a 6,000 year of civilization? What if it really is the beginning of a new age of peace & harmony? What if we really are about to go through a period of transition that could change the world entirely?

Wouldn’t  you want to prepare? At least a little?

Therein lies the significance of 12/12/12.

9 days before the end of the cycle, it is said that this is the last major gateway or portal. It is said that on this day, our earthy dimension will receive great blessings and bounties from the realm of Spirit. We will be sent healing energy to strengthen and prepare ourselves for the great days to come, among other things.

All you need to do is to be open to it. “Ask and ye shall receive”.

This is a great day to pray and meditate.  A great time to seek answers and direction for yourself, your life and others who may depend on you.

If you would like to meditate with us, we will begin our meditations at 11:11am Puerto Rico time (10:11am Eastern Time), and continue throughout the day. So if you are in meditation at 12:12pm, wherever you are, we will be meditating together as one, with all of the countless others all around the planet.


Please write us about your experience, and let us know of any insights, openings, miracles or breakthroughs you have.


39 days to go: The Last Straw III

Q: Is it time to change the direction of my life?

A: It probably is

Q: Which direction?

A: Good question.                 We have 7 to choose from.

In the medicine wheel, each direction has certain powers and gifts for us that help us along the great path of our life.

Welcome to the 3rd and last chapter of The Last Straw. This is where things get interesting, as we get to the heart of the matter.

As you may recall, I have been speaking of how I have been guided so powerfully by the hand of Spirit to this great island of Puerto Rico. While the gifts of this path have been bountiful and immeasurably beautiful, there has been one important area that has been lacking: Money.

In addition to my work that I’ve been doing here (massage, energy balancing, classes, workshops and group meditations), another purpose has been revealed to me.

This is really another story altogether, which is started here, but not yet completed. Suffice it to say that I was guided to a very powerful sacred place in Puerto Rico, said to be one of the primary Chakras of the Earth. Used extensively in past ages, it became blocked approximately 10,00 years ago during the fall of Atlantis, which has contributed to the imbalance of the planet. It was re-discovered, cleared and re-awakened in the 1950’s by a spiritual healer guided by the Ascended Masters. Thousands of people came from all over the world to receive healing there over a period of almost 30 years.

It began to re-lapse into a state of dormancy in the mid-1970’s (before the internet), and now is almost completely forgotten by the peoples of Puerto Rico and the world.

My mission, as an energy healer who has been working with Chakras for almost 30 years, is to re-awaken this site and open it up to the world again, thereby creating a greater state of balance and spiritual awakening on a global level. Working with the caretakers of this site and a small group of committed individuals, we have planned a global event for the Winter solstice of this year: 12/21/12. The event is an all-night silent vigil, the night before the solstice. The advertising has begun, on a large scale and the media is beginning to pick up on it.

The point I’m trying to make here is that my work, my goals, dreams and mission have now gone far beyond my own healing practice. They now have global implications – at a very crucial time in history. Remember, I believe that the winter solstice of this year marks the end of the old age of Pisces and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. It is turning point and a time of awakening for all of humanity. That’s all.

There is only one problem:  I can barely pay my rent. Or my phone bill. With a number of other bills going completely unpaid.

This is quite stressful and a great concern for me. It is also something that I do not quite understand fully.

You see, I am a world class Massage Therapist, with an ability to work with Prana (healing energy). I believe in myself and I believe in my work. The most common feedback I get from the majority of my clients: “Wow! Best massage I’ve ever had!”.

My classes, workshops and meditations receive similar feedback. People LOVE it, and experience great healing and transformation.


This year, I have not been able to generate enough work to pay the bills. The first 4 years, I was able to get by and keep up with all of my financial commitments  But this year has been very difficult. Business has slowed to a crawl and no matter what I try, it never quite seems to be enough. 2012 has been a descent into financial poverty for me. Never in my life have I experienced such a lack of money.

As mentioned in a previous blog there have been several times this year that I have taken a hard, cold look at my life and my business, wondering if I am on the “right” path, or if I should change course. Every time I raise the question, I receive an abundance of divine confirmations that tell me I am on my highest path, and need to have patience, faith & trust. So I keep moving forward with patience, having faith that there is a plan and trusting that all will work out.

Still… each month is a little more difficult, financially. Each month, instead of turning around, it gets worse. The little money there is becomes less. It has become absurd! It would be a great cosmic comedy if it weren’t so personally tragic.

I feel that it is important to note that all the other areas of my life are brilliant! My children are doing well. My health & vitality are better than they’ve ever been. 2012 has been a year of a great abundance of LOVE in my life. Love, happiness, joy and fun are very present even through the stress of lack. There are also other signs of success in my business: all of the people who I have touched and been able to help throughout my practice reach into the hundreds. The workshops, while not very profitable, have been the experience of a lifetime for everyone involved.  So you see, it’s not all ruin and failure. Everything else is working out beautifully – EXCEPT THE CASH FLOW!!!

The final piece of the puzzle was revealed to me  earlier this year: 100 Layers from God takes all of my experience and 27 years of work in this field and combines it with the Yogic wisdom, beauty and grace of Marién Enid. Together we are creating a book and DVD which has the potential to go big time. It is getting closer, but no deal signed yet, and the bills remain unpaid.

In the big picture, I can appreciate the experience of lack. I have learned a great deal about living simply and appreciating the small pleasures of life. I have learned depths of humility that I have never known. I am also learning patience.

This is all good and fine if I were an island, alone unto myself. But like most people, I have an entire network of people who depend upon me and are affected by my actions: my family. Back in Wisconsin I have 2 children who need their father. Their mother and my parents are feeling the burden of my absence and the absence of my financial support.

This brings us back to the original questions that inspired this blog:

  1. At what point does one give up on a dream?
  2. When should one stop doing the work that is ones calling in life?
  3. How long does one pursue something that causes pain & suffering to others?

The financial crunch and my work in PR brought me to live on the island for the last 3 months of this year. This was a difficult move for both me and my family in Wisconsin, but the circumstances necessitated it. They understood and accepted it. I told them that if by the time I return to them at Christmas, if things have not turned around – if I have not yet broken through the iron curtain of poverty, then I would re-consider my path.

So far, it’s been over 1 month, and the noose of lack has continued to tighten, in a way it never has for me, here on the island – or anywhere. Its going from bad to worse, from ridiculous to absurd. I require so little now just to survive, and still whatever small amount I need, seems to be just out of reach. No matter what I try, or how hard I work, it always comes up short. At least that is the predominant pattern of 2012.

This is not just difficult, but also painful and discouraging.

The reason I am sharing this tale of woe with you, dear reader, the reason I am so intimately opening up the dark & difficult details of my personal life, is so that it may be on record. That the world will know how bad it got, and how I still held onto my faith, trust and belief.

There have been so many times in the past 5 years that things could have turned around and busted wide open for me, and I could have had great material success. But it never happened. Obviously, that has not been much of a priority in the past. It is still not my primary priority, but I realize that I need things to turn around in the next 39 days. Or else….

I have a message (& services) that are very valuable and will help many, many people. All I need to do is get it out to the world and everything else will take of itself.

I am determined to make it work, one way or another, and I am doing what I can do. But I am also opening my heart and mind to the will of Creator, and the wondrous, mysterious ways of Spirit.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. ~ GEOTHE

41 days to go: The Last Straw II

At what point does one give up on a dream?

When should one stop doing the work that is ones calling in life?

I started to answer these questions in my previous blog, but didn’t get very far.

In fact, it brought up other questions:

How long does one pursue something that causes pain & suffering to others?

I first came to Puerto Rico in October of 2007. Even before that, I had a dream of living a life rich in purpose, helping others and making the world a better place. Although I have been involved in the healing arts for most of my adult life, my previous career in Information Technology left me unfulfilled and unhappy. It paid me a steady salary that provided some stability, but not quite enough to ever get ahead. My soul was drowning.

Blessings came with a layoff. Then the search for a new direction. That’s when I was called to Puerto Rico. I was not planning to come here. I didn’t know enough to have much interest or desire to come. Sure, I love the Caribbean. Who doesn’t? But it was not something that I had planned in advance. A last minute opportunity opened up a door for me and I found myself on an island in the tropics instead of Sedona, Arizona, where I had planned a personal Vision Quest. I was seeking a new path for my life.

It was not part of my plans, but it seems that there is a greater plan for me to be on this “Enchanted Isle”. Everything began to open up for me here. Not that it was effortless, but everything just kept falling into place, without trying too hard to figure it out. I began presenting workshops and tropical retreats on massage and Tantra, things I have been working with for decades. My massage and healing work blossomed here, thanks to the kind and generous people who embraced me and the work I do.

In the past 5 years I’ve visited more than 20 times. Each trip has it’s own magic and beauty, as well as its own challenges. The amazing thing is how each and every time I came to this island, my experiences were more beautiful, more powerful and more profound than the last. It just kept getting better.

On the financial front, however, it is more of a roller coaster. I regularly experience a certain measure of abundance, such as a full workshop or a class with over 100 people. It feels as if momentum is building, but then the next trip is a struggle again, just to break even. Every trip has held the possibility of breaking through to the next level, where the word will get out to enough people, and I won’t need to scratch and struggle so much. It has been so close, so many times, but until now, it hasn’t materialized.

There have been a few times where I was frustrated to the point of questioning my path. “Is this really the path I’m supposed to be on, and what God wants me to be doing with my life? Every single time I’ve felt that way, almost immediately I receive some sort of Divine confirmations. Some type of beautiful, extraordinary miracle happens to me that is clearly a sign from God saying “YES, you are on your path, doing your most important work with all of my love & blessings to support you”.

And so I persevere, trusting in God and my path. Finding the blessings in the struggle.

My work (& heart) has been honed and polished by the years of practice, patience and perseverance. My Ego has been kept in check. I have learned and grown so much in these past 5 years. I feel stronger and more in harmony with myself, my world and my Creator.

But the tests continue to come. Strong and fast.

Tests that make me question my path and direction once again.

To be continued…

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