Q: Is it time to change the direction of my life?
A: It probably is
Q: Which direction?
A: Good question. We have 7 to choose from.
In the medicine wheel, each direction has certain powers and gifts for us that help us along the great path of our life.
Welcome to the 3rd and last chapter of The Last Straw. This is where things get interesting, as we get to the heart of the matter.
As you may recall, I have been speaking of how I have been guided so powerfully by the hand of Spirit to this great island of Puerto Rico. While the gifts of this path have been bountiful and immeasurably beautiful, there has been one important area that has been lacking: Money.
In addition to my work that I’ve been doing here (massage, energy balancing, classes, workshops and group meditations), another purpose has been revealed to me.
This is really another story altogether, which is started here, but not yet completed. Suffice it to say that I was guided to a very powerful sacred place in Puerto Rico, said to be one of the primary Chakras of the Earth. Used extensively in past ages, it became blocked approximately 10,00 years ago during the fall of Atlantis, which has contributed to the imbalance of the planet. It was re-discovered, cleared and re-awakened in the 1950’s by a spiritual healer guided by the Ascended Masters. Thousands of people came from all over the world to receive healing there over a period of almost 30 years.
It began to re-lapse into a state of dormancy in the mid-1970’s (before the internet), and now is almost completely forgotten by the peoples of Puerto Rico and the world.
My mission, as an energy healer who has been working with Chakras for almost 30 years, is to re-awaken this site and open it up to the world again, thereby creating a greater state of balance and spiritual awakening on a global level. Working with the caretakers of this site and a small group of committed individuals, we have planned a global event for the Winter solstice of this year: 12/21/12. The event is an all-night silent vigil, the night before the solstice. The advertising has begun, on a large scale and the media is beginning to pick up on it.
The point I’m trying to make here is that my work, my goals, dreams and mission have now gone far beyond my own healing practice. They now have global implications – at a very crucial time in history. Remember, I believe that the winter solstice of this year marks the end of the old age of Pisces and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. It is turning point and a time of awakening for all of humanity. That’s all.
There is only one problem: I can barely pay my rent. Or my phone bill. With a number of other bills going completely unpaid.
This is quite stressful and a great concern for me. It is also something that I do not quite understand fully.
You see, I am a world class Massage Therapist, with an ability to work with Prana (healing energy). I believe in myself and I believe in my work. The most common feedback I get from the majority of my clients: “Wow! Best massage I’ve ever had!”.
My classes, workshops and meditations receive similar feedback. People LOVE it, and experience great healing and transformation.
This year, I have not been able to generate enough work to pay the bills. The first 4 years, I was able to get by and keep up with all of my financial commitments But this year has been very difficult. Business has slowed to a crawl and no matter what I try, it never quite seems to be enough. 2012 has been a descent into financial poverty for me. Never in my life have I experienced such a lack of money.
As mentioned in a previous blog there have been several times this year that I have taken a hard, cold look at my life and my business, wondering if I am on the “right” path, or if I should change course. Every time I raise the question, I receive an abundance of divine confirmations that tell me I am on my highest path, and need to have patience, faith & trust. So I keep moving forward with patience, having faith that there is a plan and trusting that all will work out.
Still… each month is a little more difficult, financially. Each month, instead of turning around, it gets worse. The little money there is becomes less. It has become absurd! It would be a great cosmic comedy if it weren’t so personally tragic.
I feel that it is important to note that all the other areas of my life are brilliant! My children are doing well. My health & vitality are better than they’ve ever been. 2012 has been a year of a great abundance of LOVE in my life. Love, happiness, joy and fun are very present even through the stress of lack. There are also other signs of success in my business: all of the people who I have touched and been able to help throughout my practice reach into the hundreds. The workshops, while not very profitable, have been the experience of a lifetime for everyone involved. So you see, it’s not all ruin and failure. Everything else is working out beautifully – EXCEPT THE CASH FLOW!!!
The final piece of the puzzle was revealed to me earlier this year: 100 Layers from God takes all of my experience and 27 years of work in this field and combines it with the Yogic wisdom, beauty and grace of Marién Enid. Together we are creating a book and DVD which has the potential to go big time. It is getting closer, but no deal signed yet, and the bills remain unpaid.
In the big picture, I can appreciate the experience of lack. I have learned a great deal about living simply and appreciating the small pleasures of life. I have learned depths of humility that I have never known. I am also learning patience.
This is all good and fine if I were an island, alone unto myself. But like most people, I have an entire network of people who depend upon me and are affected by my actions: my family. Back in Wisconsin I have 2 children who need their father. Their mother and my parents are feeling the burden of my absence and the absence of my financial support.
This brings us back to the original questions that inspired this blog:
- At what point does one give up on a dream?
- When should one stop doing the work that is ones calling in life?
- How long does one pursue something that causes pain & suffering to others?
The financial crunch and my work in PR brought me to live on the island for the last 3 months of this year. This was a difficult move for both me and my family in Wisconsin, but the circumstances necessitated it. They understood and accepted it. I told them that if by the time I return to them at Christmas, if things have not turned around – if I have not yet broken through the iron curtain of poverty, then I would re-consider my path.
So far, it’s been over 1 month, and the noose of lack has continued to tighten, in a way it never has for me, here on the island – or anywhere. Its going from bad to worse, from ridiculous to absurd. I require so little now just to survive, and still whatever small amount I need, seems to be just out of reach. No matter what I try, or how hard I work, it always comes up short. At least that is the predominant pattern of 2012.
This is not just difficult, but also painful and discouraging.
The reason I am sharing this tale of woe with you, dear reader, the reason I am so intimately opening up the dark & difficult details of my personal life, is so that it may be on record. That the world will know how bad it got, and how I still held onto my faith, trust and belief.
There have been so many times in the past 5 years that things could have turned around and busted wide open for me, and I could have had great material success. But it never happened. Obviously, that has not been much of a priority in the past. It is still not my primary priority, but I realize that I need things to turn around in the next 39 days. Or else….
I have a message (& services) that are very valuable and will help many, many people. All I need to do is get it out to the world and everything else will take of itself.
I am determined to make it work, one way or another, and I am doing what I can do. But I am also opening my heart and mind to the will of Creator, and the wondrous, mysterious ways of Spirit.
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. ~ GEOTHE